Category: Personal

A lake shoreline with autumn trees drawn in pencil with watercolor wash

Quiet Christmas

A lake shoreline with autumn trees drawn in pencil with watercolor wash
©2022 Carolyn A Pappas, Last Boat Ride. Pencil and watercolor wash in A4 moleskine.
Last week my surgeon called me and said they reviewed my case at Tumor Board and determined that it was a borderline tumor, not cancerous. This was amazing news to hear, and unexpected, because the report originally said cancer. (Also, weirdly stressful in a way.) However, after doing some more research, I found that borderline tumors can still recur and come back as cancer in the future. With that in mind, I have still decided to pursue a better lifestyle and do everything in my power to stay healthy. I have given up meat and dairy and have been eating as many raw vegetables as possible. I have also purchased an infrared sauna (haven’t tried it yet). I have an appointment with a naturopathic doctor to see what else I can do to get healthier. I have been feeling a lot better after my surgery and I’ve been getting dressed in the morning which makes me feel like a more normal person.

I have been reading a book called Radical Remission, which is all about people who have healed themselves from advanced or incurable cancers without or despite modern medicine. It is encouraging to read positive stories and realize that it is possible to get better after a terrible diagnosis. I’ve also been listening to Chris Wark’s videos and interviews. He is an inspiration.

I’m not supposed to drive yet, so I’ve been staying home most of the time. I haven’t minded it though. I’ve been really enjoying my quiet time during the day. I’ve started a few art projects that I’m excited about. I joined a Facebook group called Creating a Cozy Life – Hygge style. It is full of beautiful photos and ideas and everyone is so kind. I’m thinking of doing some small, crafty sewing projects. I have a number of patterns from Ann Wood that I haven’t tried yet and I want to work on some of them.

I have a follow up appointment with my doctor at the end of the month. She said that until then, all I have to do is have a good Christmas and that is what I am trying to do.

ball point pen drawing of a stream with trees

Getting back on track

ball point pen drawing of a stream with trees
©2022 Carolyn A Pappas, Stream Sketch (9/19/2022). Ball point pen in A4 moleskine.

I have wanted to update this site for many months now, but I have had a wake-up call recently and I have decided that if I don’t do it now, then I might now ever do it. I am at home, with six weeks off from work, recovering from a big abdominal surgery last week in which I have learned that I have ovarian cancer. I haven’t even heard the results yet from my doctor, but I read them in the results that popped into my MyChart account. I’m not sure how I should be feeling. I’m trying to be positive right now, but I’m also wondering what went wrong with me to have had this happen.

I haven’t been drawing much at all this past year. I started a new job, moved, got married and was focusing on a lot of other things. I’ve been under a lot of stress generally. In my new place, I even have a room dedicated as a studio, yet I haven’t spent much time in it.

In the next few weeks, I will remedy that, of course. I am busy researching nutritional/natural healing plans and I’m pretty sure I will have chemo in my future, but I know in my gut that I need to start drawing again because it is the greatest stress relief I know. Please follow along as I post updates, photos, and sketchbook pages on this site. I am going to update my own blog with most of this information as I would like to maintain a record of my work that is not connected to a social media site.

I would also appreciate your prayers too – thanks for reading.